Exodus 20 gives us the Ten Commandments
God gave to the people of Israel. The fifth (Exodus 20:12) is about parents:
Exodus 20:12
“Honor your father and your mother: that your
days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you.”
God commanded the people of Israel to HONOR their
father and mother. What does “honor your father and mother” mean? Here is how
one commentator defines it:
“This
was a plain command of God, written with his own hand, and delivered by Moses
to them; it was of a moral nature, and of eternal obligation: and to be
understood, not merely of that high esteem parents are to be had in by their
children, and of the respectful language and gesture to be used towards them,
and of the cheerful obedience to be yielded to them; but also of honoring them
with their substance, feeding, clothing, and supplying them with the
necessaries of life, when they stand in need thereof; which is but their
reasonable service, for all the care, expense, and trouble they have been at, in
bringing them up in the world.” (John Gill's Exposition of the Entire Bible,
Dr. John Gill 1690-1771)
Honoring the parents involves high esteem, reverence
and support. It means that you are there for them and you care for them with
your service, support, money, visits etc.
In contrast to the other commandments, where no
specific promise is attached directly to them, God, in giving this command He
also added a specific promise. As He said, “honor your father and mother that your days may be
long in the land that God gives you”. But He didn’t stop
there. Deuteronomy 5:16 states the same commandment but with one additional
promise attached to it:
Deuteronomy 5:16
“Honor your father and your mother,
as the LORD your God has commanded you; that your days may be
prolonged [promise
1], and that it may be well with you, in the land which
the LORD your God is giving you [promise 2].”
Paul is repeating this commandment in Ephesians 6:2-3:
“Honor
your father and mother," which is the first commandment with promise: that
it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.”
Paul says that this is the “first commandment with
promise”. The first commandment God gave and which contained a promise was the
commandment of honoring our parents! And really what a promise! You will live
long on the earth and it will be well with you! Do you want to live long on the
earth? Do you want to be well with you? Well here it is for you: honor your
parents and that’s what is going to happen!
As in the case of other commandments, so also with
honoring the parents, God says what would happen if somebody did not keep this
commandment. Jesus summarized in Mark 7 both the commandment and what,
according to this commandment, would happen if it was not kept:
Mark 7:10
"For Moses said, `Honor your father and
your mother'; and, He who curses father or mother, let him be put to
death."
The verb “curse” here is the Greek verb “kakologeo”
which means “speak evil”. Whoever spoke evil against his father or mother was
to be put to death.
To see an example of not honoring the parents, let’s
continue in the above passage of Mark:
Mark 7:11-13
"But you say, `If a man says to his father
or mother, "Whatever profit you might have received from me is
Corban"-' (that is, a gift to God), then you no longer let him do anything
for his father or his mother, making the word of God of no effect through your
tradition which you have handed down. And many such things you do."
The word “Corban” is a Hebrew word that means a “gift
offered to God”. It is this word that is used in Leviticus 1:2 for example,
where it says:
Leviticus 1:2
“Speak to the children of Israel, and say to
them: `When any one of you brings an offering [Korban] to the LORD, you shall
bring your offering of the livestock-of the herd and of the flock.”
The word “offering” here is the word Korban that the
Lord also used speaking of those Jews that didn’t honor their parents. In
essence what these Jews were saying to their parents was “whatever you could
benefit from me, my property, my income, is Corban i.e. dedicated to God and I
cannot give it to you”. This was a vow they used to do to avoid giving to their
parents. They made a vow dedicating everything to God, and therefore they could
claim that they had nothing to support and therefore no obligation for such
support towards their parents. As Barnes explains:
“If
he had once devoted his property once said it was “Corban,” or a gift to God -
it could not be appropriated even to the support of a parent. If a parent was
needy and poor, and if he should apply to a son for assistance, and the son
should reply, though in anger, “It is devoted to God; this property which you
need, and by which you might be profited by me, is “Corban” - I have given it
to God;” the Jews said the property could not be recalled, and the son was not
under obligation to aid a parent with it. He had done a more important thing in
giving it to God. The son was free. He could not be required to do anything for
his father after that. Thus, he might, in a moment, free himself from the
obligation to obey his father or mother» (Albert Barnes’ Notes on the Bible,
Albert Barnes (1798-1870))
Our Lord Jesus Christ condemned the use of the excuse
of “Corban” – offering to God - to avoid helping the parents. Obviously for him
honoring the parents was something very important, as important as it was for
God when it listed it in the 10 commandments.
It is God’s command to honor our parents with all that
this honor may include. The commandment of honoring our parents is the first
commandment with promise and really what a promise: Live long on earth and be
well with you! Most of the people wouldn’t want something more than this! Well,
this is the promise. It is not unconditional though! It is conditional and it
will be bestowed to those who honor their parents. The commandment of honoring
our parents was so important that the one that would speak evil of his parents
would die. Yes, today we live under the age of grace but the commandment of the
Lord and His promise is there. And the challenge is there for us as well:
Ephesians 6:2-3
“Honor your father and mother,"
which is the first commandment with promise: that it may be well with you and
you may live long on the earth.”